Really good questions you are posing and something we all need to take a close look at. The idea of "productivity" is such an illusion and so tied to our addictive egos, I think! That said, I'm going to take a crack at these answers...
"When was the last time you ‘did less for no good reason’, without an excuse? Did you have uncomfortable feelings about that, then or after?" --> after my brain surgery, I had about six months of uninterrupted rest. I was still active and upright, but I gave myself a lot of time to journal and paint and walk in the woods. It was easier then because I was "recovering from surgery" etc. But I deeply believe in these periods in life, and want to protect those mental spaces in our culture because they are so important/instructive for the soul! We genuinely need that spaciousness in order to learn and grow and tune into our deepest selves...
"How do you earn rest? Write a list of acceptable reasons to rest or do less." --> I am less good at resting now, but sometimes I am more able to listen when my body is like: HEY I'M SERIOUS WE NEED A NAP. So I earn rest sometimes just by physical collapse, lol. I've also noticed that sometimes I can't do the work I'm supposed to do anymore until AFTER I've played. It's a new recipe for productivity: fill up the tank, then press the gas - not the other way around, as it used to be...
What a great idea, to listen to Hersey's "Rest Is Resistance." I have loved her ideas when she speaks in interviews.
I too am finding the play first usually means I’m more effective. At first I thought it was guilt that ‘made’ me do the task since I’d had my reward already - like a child eating their greens because Mum let them have a lolly (candy) before dinner. The idea that I was filling my tank is newer.
Your six month recuperation sounds like a really healthy choice, I’m glad you had the resources to do that.
Thanks for sharing your experience here and on Under a Spell.
Michelle thank you for this, it landed deep for me. I really struggle to just do nothing without it being earned.That impulse towards making productive use of my time, even down time ie listen to a podcast while I rest, make a list, do something, anything other than really rest is internalised capitalism on steroids. I think one of the hardest things I had to work through with chronic pain was the life ‘wasted’ when I was incapacitated, the shame associated with being put out of production. My life goal now is to learn how to nap!
I’m working on recognising what is ‘restful distraction’ (some podcasts or audiobooks) and what is failure to rest. Thank you for sharing that I’m not alone in this. Good luck with resting.
For me distraction can really be a life energy drain. It's not that cut and dry, of course, but the engagement with, by or in a distracted mode can summon up our life force in a very active way that is animated in a non restful way. I sometimes equate the distractive with the dissipative use of our life energy, but writing that seems to set up a word tangle that may dissipate the meaning in these bones. I'll just relax with "rest is resistance" a la the Ministry of Rest.
Great point! Distraction for me feels like a paper sack of sugar with a tiny tear in it, the sugar trickles through, only a bit at a time, but all too soon the sack is empty without you noticing.
My go to's are 1)disidentification. I am not my "story," my inclinations, this particular feeling happening now, whatever arises in consciousness that pushes for expression in words. 2) noticing (as opposed to looking for, which implies purposeful activity) the gaps between thoughts, and they grow with the attention rested upon them. One way to put a handle on "rest" is the fruit of that attention. Of course words always fall a bit short, like taking a bite of the menu, when we hunger for the food.
I love the line — “rest spent in shame is not rest” —- that was great.
And I love the point that even when we rest we are often doing it under the guise of productivity.
I get caught up in the idea of go go go far too often and I have to actively push myself to rest - so your piece was a wonderfully written reminder. Thanks
Thank you Michael. ‘Rest spent in shame is not rest’ is a phrase I’ve met in a few places, its not original to me. It was a BFO to me: a Blinding Flash of the Obvious.
Oh Michelle, I relate to this in so many ways. As a writer, a chronic illness sufferer, one who has struggled to accept that I am not deserving of rest... 'Rest spent in shame is not rest' is just SO powerful, I have sent this on to a friend who needs to hear this today. I'm so glad that my 'listen to your body when it whispers' spoke to you, and I cannot tell you how this piece speaks to me. Let's keep writing these permission slips so that others (and ourselves) can allow ourselves what we truly need and deserve.
Really good questions you are posing and something we all need to take a close look at. The idea of "productivity" is such an illusion and so tied to our addictive egos, I think! That said, I'm going to take a crack at these answers...
"When was the last time you ‘did less for no good reason’, without an excuse? Did you have uncomfortable feelings about that, then or after?" --> after my brain surgery, I had about six months of uninterrupted rest. I was still active and upright, but I gave myself a lot of time to journal and paint and walk in the woods. It was easier then because I was "recovering from surgery" etc. But I deeply believe in these periods in life, and want to protect those mental spaces in our culture because they are so important/instructive for the soul! We genuinely need that spaciousness in order to learn and grow and tune into our deepest selves...
"How do you earn rest? Write a list of acceptable reasons to rest or do less." --> I am less good at resting now, but sometimes I am more able to listen when my body is like: HEY I'M SERIOUS WE NEED A NAP. So I earn rest sometimes just by physical collapse, lol. I've also noticed that sometimes I can't do the work I'm supposed to do anymore until AFTER I've played. It's a new recipe for productivity: fill up the tank, then press the gas - not the other way around, as it used to be...
What a great idea, to listen to Hersey's "Rest Is Resistance." I have loved her ideas when she speaks in interviews.
I too am finding the play first usually means I’m more effective. At first I thought it was guilt that ‘made’ me do the task since I’d had my reward already - like a child eating their greens because Mum let them have a lolly (candy) before dinner. The idea that I was filling my tank is newer.
Your six month recuperation sounds like a really healthy choice, I’m glad you had the resources to do that.
Thanks for sharing your experience here and on Under a Spell.
Michelle thank you for this, it landed deep for me. I really struggle to just do nothing without it being earned.That impulse towards making productive use of my time, even down time ie listen to a podcast while I rest, make a list, do something, anything other than really rest is internalised capitalism on steroids. I think one of the hardest things I had to work through with chronic pain was the life ‘wasted’ when I was incapacitated, the shame associated with being put out of production. My life goal now is to learn how to nap!
I’m working on recognising what is ‘restful distraction’ (some podcasts or audiobooks) and what is failure to rest. Thank you for sharing that I’m not alone in this. Good luck with resting.
I really appreciate that distinction Michelle, thanks
For me distraction can really be a life energy drain. It's not that cut and dry, of course, but the engagement with, by or in a distracted mode can summon up our life force in a very active way that is animated in a non restful way. I sometimes equate the distractive with the dissipative use of our life energy, but writing that seems to set up a word tangle that may dissipate the meaning in these bones. I'll just relax with "rest is resistance" a la the Ministry of Rest.
Great point! Distraction for me feels like a paper sack of sugar with a tiny tear in it, the sugar trickles through, only a bit at a time, but all too soon the sack is empty without you noticing.
Yeah, and that's our one gorgeous life...
I’m also curious to hear what you do find restful that isn’t sleep... I’m always looking for ideas.
My go to's are 1)disidentification. I am not my "story," my inclinations, this particular feeling happening now, whatever arises in consciousness that pushes for expression in words. 2) noticing (as opposed to looking for, which implies purposeful activity) the gaps between thoughts, and they grow with the attention rested upon them. One way to put a handle on "rest" is the fruit of that attention. Of course words always fall a bit short, like taking a bite of the menu, when we hunger for the food.
“Words always fall a bit short, like taking a bite of the menu, when we hunger for the food” what a great analogy, thank youz
Sorry about the typo - z instead of .
This was a great read.
I love the line — “rest spent in shame is not rest” —- that was great.
And I love the point that even when we rest we are often doing it under the guise of productivity.
I get caught up in the idea of go go go far too often and I have to actively push myself to rest - so your piece was a wonderfully written reminder. Thanks
Thank you Michael. ‘Rest spent in shame is not rest’ is a phrase I’ve met in a few places, its not original to me. It was a BFO to me: a Blinding Flash of the Obvious.
Original to you or not, I heard it first on Substack so that’s gotta count for something. :)
I meant to say - I heard it first on your* Substack.
Oh Michelle, I relate to this in so many ways. As a writer, a chronic illness sufferer, one who has struggled to accept that I am not deserving of rest... 'Rest spent in shame is not rest' is just SO powerful, I have sent this on to a friend who needs to hear this today. I'm so glad that my 'listen to your body when it whispers' spoke to you, and I cannot tell you how this piece speaks to me. Let's keep writing these permission slips so that others (and ourselves) can allow ourselves what we truly need and deserve.
Amen! Welcome and thank you for chiming in with your valuable perspective. Freedom for one & all!
YES!!! 🥰